Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Random Wednesday #21 - Anchoring Balance

 GET THE LOOK HERE:
 Top: TJ Maxx (option) (option) | Skirt: TJ Maxx (option) (option) | Shoes: Forever 21 (option) (option) | Necklace: Sam Moon (option) (option)

This is the second time in the past month that I have used an analogy to compare an outfit I wore to my every day life.

Since my top is splattered with anchors, I thought it would be fitting to chat about a huge struggle I am having in my life, anchoring balance.

Let's start with a simple definition.

The words that stand out to me are "even", "steady" and "not fall". Well, folks, this definition does NOT describe me in the slightest, at least at the present time. I don't know how or when it happened, but when it comes to Monday through Friday, I have completely and utterly lost all balance in my life.

I tend to focus my attention on a hundred "things" instead of zoning in on the handful that really matter. I have always been the type of person that has to be busy. I don't like being bored and it drives me crazy when I don't have an agenda or things to accomplish. I need to be moving and shaking. You will very seldom find me on the couch watching television. I can't even focus long enough to watch a half hour show because I would sit there thinking about all the things that I need to do; family and friends I need to call back, the girls homework, blog posts, spending time with Ross, styling appointments, genuine family time and most importantly moments with the Lord.

Then I look at the clock, it's almost midnight and I feel as if I didn't do half the things I told myself I was going to check off my imaginary to-do list. 

I have been extremely disappointed in myself lately. There are so many areas in my life where  balance is no where in sight. I have fallen off my tight rope, tipped over my canoe and twisted my ankle in a high heel. 

Let me give you a glimpse in what I mean:

As a wife: 
There are so many evenings that Ross and I don't get to spend "quality" time with one another because of the kids, his work, my work or just because we are both so tired. We definitely fall short when it comes to one-on-one date nights. And sadly, sometimes I forget to even ask him how is day was because, well, my mind is being pulled in a million directions. And the worst part is that he will do something special and it goes unappreciated. Example, I was out running some errands, I came home to a clean kitchen (it was disastrous when I left) and forgot to express a simple thank you. Ross is no sissy, but it hurt his feelings (kinda) that I didn't even acknowledge that it was picked up. Strike one of many.

Being a mom:
I love my girls more than anything in this world and they deserve my attention as much as possible. They will only be little for a short time. Then in a blink of an eye, they will be too "cool" to hang with mom. So, why in the world do I not spend 100% of my time with them when they are home and with me? I don't have the answer. The right answer, I suppose. I guess it goes back to me filling up my plate with more than I can handle. I do try to spend my weekends and evenings with them. We go to the park, we play games and always do a least a few fun things on the weekends, but for some reason I still feel guilty. Guilty because I am not a parent volunteer, forgot it was pajama day at school last week, didn't sell as many Girl Scout cookies as the other moms did, feed my kids cereal for dinner sometimes or them not being involved in as many extracurricular activity as their friends are. Again, the list goes on when it comes to the guilt of not being able to balance time and energy with my own flesh and blood. 

When it comes to family: 
I used to talk to my mom every single day on my drive into work...when I worked at an office and before she retired. We still talk almost every day, but the conversations are less lengthy. My mom has been super sick this week and I completely spaced on calling yesterday to check to see if she was okay. We used to travel back home at least once a month, now it's more like once every 2-3 months. My parents aren't getting any younger and I need to make an honest effort to talk to and see them every chance I get. I need to call my sister. My brother called 4 days ago and I still have yet to talk to him. I found out on freaking Facebook that my niece is in the hospital with pneumonia. I feel really rotten after this paragraph

My friendships:
This is where I have gotten way off-kilter. Between my blog, my business and being a mom and wife, my IRL friendships have faltered. I can feel the disconnect from some of my best friends in the entire world. I have so many calls to return, emails that have gone unanswered and the worst one...forgetting about a lunch date with an old friend yesterday. Talk about wanting to cry. I am the type of person who would rather text than chat over the phone. This is bad and I blame it all on technology. I choose typed words over real life conversations. It's not good people. It's not good. I know I am not the only one out there dealing with this. We need real, live conversations in our lives. Real laughs. Real voices. Real dialogue. How did I get here? I told myself I would NEVER lose touch with my girls, but sadly it is happening. I plan on being better.
Blogging dedication:
I have always been the one to respond to every person that stops by my blog, but lately I just can't catch up. This is something I don't plan to change. You guys, I do see and read every single comment. I just am physically unable to connect with every person who stops by. To me this is one of the easiest ways to eliminate some stress. I will continue to comment back or respond to the best of my ability, but there comes a point where you have to pull back a little and focus more on the things stated above. I love all of you and know that if it weren't for you, loyal readers, I would not be where I am at today. 

Christianity:
I go to church most every Sunday. I listen tentatively to the sermon. I pray. I am a follower and believer of our Lord and Savior. Where I need work is His word. I do not read the Bible. I haven't opened one in I don't know how long. I am ashamed to say that.  I also close my eyes several times a week without giving Him one ounce of glory. How is this so? He has provided abundantly to me, yet I can go about my day without recognizing Him even once. It's not where I want to be. I am embarrassed and have no excuse except that I seem to find things in this world that are more important and deserve more of my attention. Last night, for the first time in years, Ross and I held hands in bed and prayed out loud together. It was the best feeling and connection I have had in a long time. It made me want more and is what prompted this entire post.

So, are you struggling trying to figure out how to balance all of your acts? How do you fit it all in? How do you manage your time and focus? How in the world do you get it all done without a catastrophic melt down? 

I believe this is something every person, man or woman, can relate to. It's something we all need to stop and think about. At the end of the day, what is MOST important to you? 

After writing this post, I taught myself a valuable lesson. Balance is what holds you up. Focus on the "balance" that won't let you fall to the ground. I have a feeling that your "balance" is just like mine, people. Don't caught up in the hustle and bustle of "tasks". Take time to make that personal connection, don't forget about that lunch date with an old friend and spend time with the ones who mean the most to you. All the other stuff is just fluff, but family, friends and God are the glue that hold everything together.

If you made it to the end....thank you for sticking around. I have been pretty winded lately.

 **If you are linking up today, I kindly ask that you follow my blog and link back to it in your post. Oh, and go meet some new friends! 
Because Shanna Said So
 
Linking up with The Pleated Poppy and Style Elixir.

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119 comments:

dreamingincashmere said...

It is really difficult to find that balance. I have no idea how to do it at this point, I'm still juggling and feeling like a chicken with my head cut off. If I find any answers, you'll be the first to know:) Love your ENTIRE look!!
xoAmy
www.dreamingincashmere.com

Taylor @ Pink Heels Pink Truck said...

Girl, I totally get it and I don't even have kids. I live in a hotel 5 days a week. See my hubby only on the weekends. I have to always have something to do. Something to plan. Something to look forward to. There never seems to be enough time in the day. I'm always working for something. Sometimes I know what it is. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I have a great balance. And sometimes I don't. But recently I have been making an active effort to hang on to my girl friends. To make our relationships work. And none of us live close by except one. And she's in my hometown, but I still rarely get to see her when I'm home, cause I'm spending time with my hubby. Sometimes it's just hard to do what you think you should really be doing. To mark all those things off of your imaginary check list. Cause really, spending time with your girls, hubby, friends, God (and in no particular order), those things just typically don't show up on your "to-do" list. Maybe we should put those at the top?? And make an active effort to fulfill those first every single day and let the other stuff fit in when we have free time. xoxo Hang in there girl! You are a ROCK star in my book!

Leeann @ Join the Gossip said...

Girl, you have so many followers and comments that it's impossible to comment back to everyone and we know that :)

The fact that you are trying to achieve balance is great and I know you'll get there :)

Sybil@PeaceitallTogether said...

You are definitely not alone in this search for balance. I struggle with this daily...especially now that I am feeling pulled to devote more attention to blogging. How will I balance it all? I'm still searching.

I love how you related your post to your outfit. It's good to know I'm not the only deep (and sometimes random) thinker out there who is trying to stay focused on what's important.

Silhouette de Femme said...

This is a hard one but it will get better over time & as your kids grow! When mine were little there was no way I could be a bloggy mommy as like you said there are not enough hours in the day. I hope you can find peace in yourself & family is what counts most.

Denise

Delightful Deets said...

I can totally relate! You are doing a fabulous job! I only found you within the last couple of months, but I'm in shock every time you comment on my blog! It takes a ton of time to go through and comment! You go over and beyond, so sweet! xo

Kat@shop.school.sleep. said...

Finding that balance is always going to be hard. No matter how detailed that to-do list is, I can hardly ever get it all checked off. I would rather text than talk on the phone and I'm not sorry about that....I really should explain that...I struggle with making time for my family too and they live like 20 minutes away. It's hard with trying to finish grad school. I definitely think that taking breaks from blogging/ blogworld helps with the commitments to other things and I plan to do so next month to really focus on finishing my papers.
You're still amazing at all you juggle around!! And the mommy stuff...you're a great mom and your girls will appreciate all you do and won't even think about the stuff you didn't do!!

Lora Knight said...

Hey girl! I SOOOO know what you mean on the whole balance thing. It's a good thing us girls know how to multi-task! But yes, it can get overwhelming. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way! Keep truckin'.
P.S. I am LOVING your outfit by the way!
xo
Lora

Brooke said...

I listen to my favorite pastors every day on my drive to work. I have a bluetooth audio thing in my car, and can stream past services all while driving to work (Or listen to CD's). This helps me to daily keep my focus on God, and the rest will just fall into place.

Loved your outfit!

Brooke =)

Nicole | Pharr Away said...

Oh Shanna, did you get a glimpse into my life somehow because every word you wrote was about me. Every single word. From not giving my husband or daughter my full attention, to not reading my Bible and giving God glory as I should. I know that I need to make some changes and I'm struggling to find that balance as well. But it must be found, and soon, as I can tell that it's having a negative affect on me and how I feel. I pray that you'll find balance as well!

Take care :) and thanks SO much for being so open!

Claire Justine said...

Thanks for hosting ,new follower by GFC :) great outfit...

Dhruvi said...

Love this look you on, Shanna! It's so chic and fun!

Dhruvi
http://stilettosandsequins.blogspot.com

Joy Shana said...

Story of my life lol, finding balance is hard, i can totally relate, but i think your doing a great job, you look chic in that skirt, love it
Http://shana-style.blogspot.com

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Allison said...

This post made me want to cry because I can so relate. Sometimes I get in bed at night and think what did I do all day with my time? Or what did I do that's worth remembering? I think every one of us struggles with this to some degree. Thanks for sharing your heart! Praying that we both can find balance!

Lins - Domesticated Working Woman said...

I don't have kids yet and I already see myself struggling in some of these areas. Last year, I prayed hard about what was GREAT compared to what was GOOD in my life. I had to give up several things so that I could focus on what is GREAT. That included coaching which had always been a passion of mine, but I needed to give it up and focus on other things. Giving that up has made me a better wife and Christian.

Esther Davison said...

Hey! I don't know why I thought of this but have you heard of strengthsfinders? It's a little test that tells you what you're good at. When you know your top attributes, you can focus there and find success. I think balance could be there too. I could be way far off here but that tiny book helped me find the best job ever for me. Esther Norine Designs

Ashley said...

This post could not have come at a more perfect time. I was having the same thoughts last night about my own life. I feel like I'm not being "excellent" at any area of my life right now. Now, how do we get this balance? I"m not so sure...but I'm going to try to figure it out.

I think you're fantastic, Shanna.

Annie said...

Shanna you are so hard on yourself :( I'm the same way...I can never sit still and am ALWAYS thinking of all the stuff I need to do...it kind of sucks because I never feel relaxed. But at least you know you need more balance, and the girls and Ross are lucky to have you...you'll figure it out, I know you will :)

Annie
The Other Side of Gray

A J said...

Sounds like you need a long, solid hug. ***HUG*** Your blog has gotten so big, your business is more than you expected (which is awesome) and your personal life never gets less demanding. But don't worry, you are NOT a horrible wife/mother/friend/blogger/stylist. You are human and you are doing the best you can with what you have. Keep your head up. You are AMAZING! Love u!!

-AJ
FitTravelerAJ.blogspot.com

Kristine -Heart Shaped Sweat said...

XOXO!!! you are not alone in the trick of finding balance. It's an act that is always changing. You've searched your heart for what is most important, deserving of attention now just trust the rest will get done in due time! I need to stop glorifying busy, oh my, I'm so guilty of overfilling the day and that is not where life is. You're an amazing woman, there is no doubt. Taking the time to pray with your husband is the sweetest thing ever, I immediately pulled mine over to read your post. We connected with each word. Anchoring balance isn't easy but I got a feeling you're super close to figuring it out!

Danavee said...

Don't be too hard on yourself.......think of all the things you are doing RIGHT! You are a lovely person! HUGS and keep your chin up!

JP Lord said...

Sometimes, life gets the best of you and balance isn't what you need. What you need is a break from reality. Although I have to say - from all of your pictures/posts/status updates, it seems like you have it under control girl! Maybe step back for a second, your hubs loves you like crazy, the girls love you more than the moon, and you are an excellent wife/mommy/blogger. You got this, don't ever doubt yourself. Just remember to breath for a second, balance will come! LOVE YOU!
xx

Jennifer P. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenn said...

This was a great post to read, but it was probably an even better one for you to write, because you seemed to be gaining perspective through the process. I really enjoyed reading this as I do think most women over-schedule themselves. I'm amazed every time a mother has a blog, because I'm not a mom, and I have a hard time finding time for it!
PS: Please don't respond to this comment. Go attend to one of your other in-person obligations instead:)

Lobster Meets Peach said...

My sweet mom let me in on a little secret when I had my first child - "You can't so it all. The sooner you come to terms with that fact the better off you will be." I too can feel overwhelmed by the never ending to-do list but I really try to think about what is truly important for now and years to come.

Hang-in there! And be kind to yourself:)

Susan said...

As mamas, I think we all struggle with balance. It's just a matter of figuring out which {out of a million things!} is most important. Tough.

Karrie Harper said...

Of course I only know you from reading your blog and looking at photos on IG but I bet everyone who surrounds you would say you are doing awesome. We all struggle to balance everything in our life but I think it is impossible to do them all at 110%! Keep doing what you're doing!

Sam said...

Balance is such a difficult thing to achieve, but it's worth striving for! Sometimes I think we all need to throw the to-do lists out the window & just be. Side note- I always love breakfast for dinner when I was a kid, and cereal totally counts! Xoxo

Tracy Walpole said...

If you didn't feel bad about these things... then I would worry about you. It's normal to feel pulled in a zillion directions as a mom, friend... woman. Don't worry. If it helps any I think you are a fantastic mom and person (and I'm willing to bet every single person who knows you feels the same)! :)

Alissa | Feeling Good said...

I know exactly what you mean (except the mom thing ;) but my mind is constantly thinking about what to do next and how to further my blog. It never ends! Matt and I found a church here that we've been going to since October and I must admit it's not nearly as amazing as my church at home. The people are different, sermon, pastor... I know that sounds silly! I definitely need to walk with the Lord a lot more - as life gets completely in the way. He is the one who has blessed us abundantly!! :)

Alissa
FeelingGoodFashion.blogspot.com

Lisette said...

I struggle with balance everyday. It's actually quite the argument starter in this house. Anyway, I LOVE that darling anchor shirt and the necklace. Just adorable! Have a great week!

Helene said...

balance is definitely something we all struggle with. i hear you loud and clear about responding to people on comments. sometimes I feel bad but its so hard. we all understand. you have so much going on you can't possibly respond to each and every person!

Suzanne Carillo Style Files said...

I think that finding balance is one of the hardest things to do in life. Just when we think we have it something else comes along and tips us over. It is a daily struggle.

TFS

bisous
Suzanne

Megan. OneFifteenDanville. said...

Shanna you are such a breath of fresh air. Thank you for being one of the "real" bloggers on here. I have a girl crush on you and your side braid today! Love it!

Sarah said...

First, you look adorable and I love that braid!

Two, oh my I know what you mean! I can NOT sit still for the life of me and constantly have 1000 things on my to do list and running through my head. In fact, I did sit still last night and I fell asleep on the couch in about 2 seconds flat. I've told you before but I love your honesty and I think just expressing your struggles makes them easier to tackle. As the husband always reminds me, you don't have to do it all. The world isn't going to end if something on the to do list gets crossed off. I have to always tell myself that, especially with the blog. My family and friends need to come first.
(Before I crashed) I was panicking last night that I didn't have a blog post for today (and honestly sad I wasn't linking up with YOU!) but nothing was coming to me. I had to come to terms with the fact that there was no reason to post if my heart wasn't in it.
Again, thank you for you honesty and for being REAL!
XOXOX Loveeee you! You can do it!! One thing at a time!

Brianne Bracco said...

Never would have thought to put those colors together myself! Love it! That pop of yellow is perfect! Such a cute outfit :)

Andrea {blonde ambitions} said...

Are you reading my mind? Or are we just that similar? I feel the exact same way you do with so many aspects of my life right now. I feel like I have so many "coals in the oven" that nothing is getting done and my relationships with family, friends and God are suffering. Why do we allow ourselves to be pulled in so many different directions. I love you friend and sometimes after letting it out we feel better and see things differently. I am always here for you day or night!! Love you!

Bi Ti said...

Great post, thank you for sharing and hosting the party.
Have a great week!

TheTinyHeart said...

I think this is something everyone struggles with at one time or another! I'm not the kind of person that likes to be busy all the time though because I'd just feel SO overwhelmed. Are there some things you can take off your plate or things people can help you with?

-Sharon
The Tiny Heart
February Group Giveaway!

Kaleigh said...

first off, love the shirt ;) secondly, I think you're awesome simply for admitting you are human! We all get off balance sometimes, I think it's something we'll work on for our entire life. But for you to admit your failings is precious and shows what a sweet heart you have! Go Shanna go! :)

Sarah Tucker said...

You're adorable, sweet friend! You have permission to slow down :) We have one life to live, and you most certainly don't want to whiz through it! This was such a beautiful post. Xoxo!

Always Maylee said...

Oh Shanna, I think you are doing just fine. I understand what you mean though. I feel pulled in many different directions and my stress level is just constantly rising. And in our spare time, we just want to relax, not have to go see this person or that person, which is awful to even say. Balance is hard, but I think it's important to just slow down and take a minute for yourself every once in awhile. Hang in there! :)

xo, Yi-chia
Always Maylee

Amy Shaughnessy said...

It is hard sometimes. There is only so much I can focus on before I go crazy. I was asked to get certified to teach Pilates and I had to just turn it down. Even though you can make some great money, I just don't have the time with everything else I'm doing. I think the biggest thing is learning when to say no to people (for me, anyway).

Amy

Fashion and Beauty Finds

Setarra said...

Kudos to you for making balance a priority. I've been working on it myself as well. It something you're always going to have to refigure out from time to time as we go through this journey called life. You got this mama!

Erika said...

Ok, this outfit is amazing! I can't believe that you found most of it at TJ Maxx, it looks very J. Crew. Thanks for sharing about you and your husband praying together, beautiful!

Talia said...

I absolutely understand this and am always concerned I could get there too. Our lives get a hold of us at some point, but you have at least made the step towards recognizing its happening before you get any further in the tangled mess.

My boyfriend and i both work full time, both attend law school at night, and both see each other right before we go to bed and for about 20 minutes in the morning. We make an effort to talk at night for at least 20 minutes to catch up, even if its while laying in bed. One night a week we try to schedule a girls/guys night out with our friends, or at least once a month it seems. The weekends are for reading for the week, church, and trying to spend as much time together as possible.

Agnes Mayer said...

I love your outfit and balance is a very hard thing to achieve. I found it to be even harder once I had my son. Now we are in a new routine that sort of has balance. I'm not sure if you can ever have 100% balance.

Agi:)

vodkainfusedlemonade.wordpress.com

Melanie Montgomery said...

I feel the same way about balance!
Yesterday when I got to work, there was a heart balloon and food Johnny had stopped by and put it there so I'd be surprised! I got so caught up with work that I forgot to tell him how much I appreciated it, and I felt like such a bad wife when I got home.

Sara {Social Sara} said...

I couldn't agree more and where as I don't have children (yet), I still have some of these same struggles. Life is just too much sometimes and we need reality checks just like this one to bring us back to the basics. I pray that you will find balance soon. I know you will!
Cheers,
Sara

Amanda Parker said...

OMG, Its like you were speaking all that I was thinking....Thanks for this post, I don't have a blog, but love to read all that I can and you are one of my FAVORITES! You are so real and so adorable with you style, etc.!It made me stop and think about all the things most "important" to me that I have been lacking in. Again, thanks!

Martha said...

Hi, Shanna!
I read this after I wrote my post...and it turns out, we're both feeling basically the same way. OVERWHELMED! Thank you for sharing. I feel better knowing it's not just me because things have been tough lately.
As always, love how honest you are. And I love that anchor shirt. I must find!

Amy said...

This is beautiful and youre right, balance holds us. Your family knwos you love them, the Lord knows too. The only thing that matters is if you try. We are not perfect which is what makes us human.

Adorable look!

Coffee Beans and Bobby Pins

kateprs said...

Your top is so pretty! Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by responding to comments, too, but I prioritize. I try to respond to any questions first, and then when I get time, respond to the others. Is there a rule that every comment must go responded to? (I don't know-- someone should do a post on blogging etiquette). I think your true fan followers will understand and just appreciate that you care enough to want to comment. (I could be wrong though, lol.)

Erica said...

i love your outfit here. i can connect with this post. i always have to be busy, even when there is nothing to do. i feel like i have to pack every single to-do item into one day which leaves me no time for myself and no time for my fiance. i struggle to balance my every day activities but i'm trying to work on it.

Rachel Lynne said...

Such an adorable outfit. And I definitely have a hard time finding a balance, but it all seems to work out sometimes :)

Anna TTIL said...

Shanna - thank you for your honesty! I've been struggling with the same things and it's no fun! I feel like I've cut out everything that I can cut out (volunteering) and I still don't have enough time in the day. I hope it's something we'll both get figured out!

still being [molly] said...

there's so much i want to say, so much i could say, but all i will say is you are not alone and it's okay. we are all imperfect striving to be perfect and we will always fall short. but that's okay. love you shanna!

Brooke Houston said...

Hang in there Shanna and keep praying for guidance. He will hear you and eventually answer. I'm sorry you've gotten caught up in this physical world. You're definitely not alone. Love that you and Ross prayed together. I have yet to do that with my man, but definitely pray for it one day. :)

Carly said...

Man, are we on the same page! Balance is definitely my struggle!

I'm working on it everyday!

Carly
www.lipglossandcrayons.com

Cece said...

It sounds like you almost need to turn your brain off a little to get some peace. You are only one person and you can only do so many things so cut yourself some slack. Having a list of things I need to do helps me even if I don't have time to do them all. Having that list and at least knowing it's all there is comforting. I have no kids so I can't even imagine your busy life. As for replying to blog comments. Girl, this is #61. No one in their right mind could expect you to reply to all. You are a bigger blogger. It happens. I do like it that even if you don't reply to every single one you pop in here and there and do reply to some. That is very courteous and totally reasonable. Please do not reply to this comment!!!!!! Take care.

Becky Holmes said...

Thank you for your open heart and honesty in this post, Shannon. After leaving the corporate world of 13 years, I am now a stay at home mom and I wouldn't trade it for the world! You will find a balance, no matter what situation you are in. It may not be easy, it may take time, it may change...but you are the only one who can decide to make that balance. If you put the Lord first, dwell in His presence daily...it will all come together, in His perfect plan for you. I'll be praying that the Lord will bless you with His wisdom, guidance and show you His joy. He is forever gracious and loving!

Sarah said...

I think you and I are alike. I am always go go go and never have a minute to just sit and fully relax. My parents are always on me asking me when the last time I relaxed, haha, I tell them it is relaxing to watch tv and play with pictures at the same time. I'm always doing too many things at once. I've decided jsut recently to cut back on how much I blog, and instead just enjoy what other people write and try and get some more me time. So far it's really working. And I love the mix of colors! The red and yellow, perfect! Must remember for the future! You'll find the balance, trust in yourself and you'll find it.

Janine BakeGlueandTrend said...

I really struggle to find balance too but it is so important in order to make sure you live a happy and healthy life. Thanks for this post and thanks for hosting this amazing link up!

Janine xx
Bake, Glue and Trend!

Janice said...

Great post! I think we all feel like this sometimes, but glad to know I am not alone! I plan on copying this look with my target anchor shirt I got back in December! PS Love the cute side braid!

Sippy Cups and Pearls said...

and THAT is why I did a post on balance :) lol

Gwen said...

First, please know that I don't expect a response back every single time I post a comment.

Second, you have managed to put into words a lot of how I'm feeling lately, which I blame on February. Every year at this time I feel overwhelmed by work, singing obligations, and on and on (and I don't even have kids!). I just feel so out of control. I'm planning to take a couple days off work next week to hopefully refocus and calm myself down.

Ruthie Hart said...

I am going to pray that the Lord stirs your heart to connect with Him through His holy word... alas we tend to forget that is the only place we can find ultimate balance between work, marriage, blogging, etc. Love you girl and love that anchor top!! (since I was a DG)

Jeans and a Teacup said...

You are only one person and can't do it all! And that's ok! I definitely relate to struggling to find balance in my relationship with God. That's probably the last thing on my list when it should be the first. I love the idea of praying out loud with your husband. That's something I've never done (sad!) but have been thinking about it recently.
~Jessica
Jeans and a Teacup

Tiffany @ Polka Dotted Cats said...

Shanna, my love, you need a vacation. Or at least a blogcation. We will all be here when you get back, I promise! This is a great start, knowing that you need to find some balance. It is hard without kids for me, so I imagine it is a million times harder with 2 little girls!

Just remember, you don't HAVE to do it all...no one should expect you to!

xoxo

Courtney said...

I worry about balancing things in my life all the time! And I worry even more about how it will be when I'm married & have kids and more responsibility! It is refreshing to read that everyone struggles with it & it's completely normal. =)

Sandra said...

On another post comment about anxiety I spilled a little to you, now I'll give you the rest of it: reading my bible every day. That's what gave me peace, hope, focus, quiet time with God. Still working through things and on the mend health wise, but slowly, with His grace I will get there and so will you :) I will keep you in my prayers :)

List Addict said...

It is hard! You have to firstly not be too rough with yourself about it - that won't help. Make a list of everything you think has to be done. Then look at what really matters on the list and do that instead. Making it concrete rather than in your head alows you to see that many things are not worth worrying about.

Mellissa Rondinelli said...

Great post! Loving your outfit. Okay so the balance I need is to make my old corporate world wardrobe more casual without having to buy a whole bunch of new stuff and you know not wearing yoga pants. I might email you for some help ... paid of course. But I'm really trying to be a fashionista on my own so I am going to take some time to assess my closet and I'll email you. How much for random questions? Like can you wear .... or what do you think about ....

Thanks girl!
Shia
World According to Shia

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Blue Dog Belle said...

Honestly I'm so impressed you still devote so much time to commenting back. Your blog is HUGELY popular and you have SO many readers and comment-ers. I can barely keep up, I can't even imagine how you're doing it. AND taking outfit pictures. AND launching a business. AND running a household, taking care of 2 busy girls and a husband? Girl. You are wonder woman. Really.

Misty said...

I've been feeling the same way lately. Since I work forty hours a week, I feel like I have so little time left to do everything else that needs to be done. This includes cleaning, laundry, homework, watch tv, read, enjoy time with my family, relax, sleep... The list just goes on. I stay up way too late every night and feel like I haven't accomplished a damn thing.

Delusions of Grandeur said...

Shanna, this spoke to me so much today. I feel like in our culture there is a tendency to overcommit, and to glorify "busyness". For me that means I don't end up really committing to or doing a good job at anything. Thank for the reminder to slow down. And you look fabulous!

Melanie said...

I totally understand what you mean! I have such a hard time finding balance with everything that goes on in my life & it's so hard to make time with those who matter to you when you are constantly busy. It's a must that we find that perfect balance so that we don't miss time with our loved ones but also mainly OURSELVES! Praying for ya girl!

Selma @ Crazy Little World Of Mine said...

first of, loving your outfit. that top is awesome. and second, blogging is time consuming. some people think it's just writing a post and hit publish. it's so much more. if you don't comment and connect no one will ever know your posts exist. sad thing is, we do live a life outside this world too and it's so darn hard to keep up. i so understand. i've been having issues with this too. but i just can't keep up. i'd be writing silly comments or so just to say "hi" which isn't the best either. so yeah i do try to focus on the balance that keeps me going and keeps me sane.

hugs!

Holly said...

Shanna - my sweet, sweet twin. We really are so very much alike. I just want to hug you and tell you, "I completely understand." I may not understand the mom piece, but the rest, yep, right there with you.

I'm definitely not in the running for wife of the year, for the same reason you mentioned. It's so easy to take the one person who is so consistent in our lives - our husbands - for granted. I have been making an effort to be more appreciative of all that Shawn does while I'm not home (which is far, far too often). And that's all you can do. Recognize the fault and make a conscious effort to better yourself.

As for your girls, you probably will never know how much those fun things you do on the weekends together mean to them. Think about when you were little, what do you remember about your mom? How many Girl Scout cookies she helped you sell? Or the time she played dress up with you and let you use her makeup (I'm speculating here, but you get the idea)? They love you no matter what you feed them for dinner. Heck, best thing my parents taught me was that cereal was perfectly acceptable as dinner ;)

On friendship, woah mama, we could not be rowing this same boat any better together. But here's what I've learned about friendship- the ones I cherish the most are the ones that pick up right where they left off no matter how much time has passed. To me, that is true friendship. So don't beat yourself up about missing a date (though I probably would too). Make it up to her on the next one and it will just be water under the bridge. Shiz happens!

But in all this, I commend you for recognizing how thin you've stretched yourself. It took me a long time to figure it out and I still struggle with it. That's the first step in my book. Staying balanced is really just being in a constant state of change. Albeit small, manageable change. So if you need to switch around some priorities, so be it. That's a simple change that may help bring you back to that balance you need in your life.

Hang in there and I'm always here for ya, lady! Love you!!

Sami said...

Girl I'm sorry you are struggling with this :( You are a great person, friend, and blogger and everyone knows that! I am amazed that you have kept up with the comments this long! I don't get half as many as you and I've been struggling for awhile! Keep your head up and things will work themselves out :)

Samantha said...

Lady, my failures could fill much more than a blog post. Thinking of you :) Tomorrow I want a post of all the things you do right! If you don't write it, I will!!

Samantha @ Sam ipsa Loquitur

Shea Sayers said...

First of all, I love this outfit--the whimsical anchors and bright colors are so much fun! Secondly, I know just what you mean when it comes to balance, it's something I struggle with myself. At the end of the day, just know that you're doing the best you can and I know the people in your life appreciate that. Right now I'm struggling to fit blogging/the blog community into my life but I hope to find a balance soon as well!

Allison said...

You sure are a busy woman! And I don't blame you that you're having issues balancing it all! I can definitely relate to this post though. You are a huge inspiration to me and others (I'm sure), so just keep doing what makes you "tick" and things will all fall into place! As long as you put God, Hubby, and kiddos first, you will be one happy lady!

Amanda Cobb said...

I think balance is something everyone struggles with. I know I do - between my freelance business, my shop, my blog, my relationships... it feels like something is always getting less attention that it deserves/needs. But I think that's just life in the modern world. Not that we shouldn't try to acheive/correct the balance, but also just to realize it will probably always need re-examining and adjusting.

Love the cute side braid, by the way!

prettyanddelectable said...

You are not alone... everyone gets overwhelmed and it just means that you are living life to the fullest! Prioritizing and scheduling time for relaxation/fun are two things that help me stay balanced. Don't be too hard on yourself... you'll find ways to adjust and get your groove back! :)

Sheena Rae said...

I love your necklace! I hope you are able to find some balance between all the things you care about! It is hard! I finally wore those crazy wide leg pants that I posted and you liked a few weeks ago! Pics on the blog!

Lindsay said...

Just found your blog and I am IN LOVE :) So good to meet you! xo

Kacie said...

Super cute outfit! Love these colors together!

www.kacieskloset.blogspot.com
www.daisyraeboutique.com

Traci Little said...

I adore that pop of yellow from the necklace!

http://ordinaryinspirations.blogspot.com/2013/02/what-i-wore-wednesday-week-3.html

Alyssa @ Sugar, Spice, and a Dash of Advice said...

Wow this really spoke to me- I don't know how you do it.. I feel overwhelmed and have no children! My post today was actually along these lines a little.. I've realized I need to let some things go in order to make ME happy and put less pressure on myself. That it's okay to be a little selfish sometimes. Of course you can't respond to every comment! I think everyone would understand that.

You are clearly a great mom as evidenced by your girls' happy faces showing up all over your blog and instagram. Also, you are human and not perfect- no one is! I remind myself this every single day (at least a dozen times!!) You are so right about balance :)

Rebecca said...

I completely get what you're saying. In fact, I probably could've written your post, except for having more than one daughter. We have two boys and a daughter :P Anyways! My life balance is totally, completely off, especially since I started graduate school last August. We've started staying home all day on Saturday as a family. One, I can get homework done. Two, we're all together for an entire day! I look forward to Saturdays so much. I'm still stressed, but the balance has tipped toward the good side just a bit more. You better believe I'm counting down till summer, though! hahaha...

I know you'll figure out what will work for your family! You're one dedicated mama!

Peggy said...

wow, I really needed to read your post! I stink at balance. I am an all or nothing gal. Working on it - and my "babies" turn 13 this weekend!!! Time is flying! I hear ya on the Bible. I challenged my junior high Bible class to read through the Bible in a year, and we are all on track! Soooo happy about this one. All 3 of my own kids are in this class. I'll pray for you. You are truly a blogger I feel is genuine and sincere. I need to give SO much more time to God- and I think that means I have to give much LESS time to things of "this world" (like clothes!!)

Laura B @ Walking in Memphis in High Heels said...

I love this port and feel the exact same way. Work, grad school, husband, blogging, family, church, friends. I've been feeling a little overwhelmed lately. Everyone understands. You need to do what is best for you and spend time on the things that are most important to you. : )

Jen said...

Thanks for sharing! Balance is hard and I'm with you- I don't do a great job with it. Right now the relationship with the husband is suffering. Not in an awful way, but I do feel like he's gotten the short end of the stick recently and that's not fair to him. Thanks for a kick in the pants and reminder about what is important.

Lulu Soler said...

Dear Shanna - it is so hard. Give yourself a break, recharge, re-evaluate. I had a devotional (I have since given it to a friend and don't remember the title). But the woman, very accomplished, a beautiful Christian said, you can have it all! Just not all at the same time. :)

xo Lulu
simplylulustyle.com

Head to Toe Chic said...

I love your anchor top! Finding balance between everything is so hard, and it's something I'm constantly struggling with. I'm always overwhelmed and feel like i haven't accomplished enough, but hopefully one day I'll get a hang of it.

xo,
Angela
headtotoechicblog.com

tara said...

i totally suck at balancing things. i tend to get a bit obsessive with things (like READING) and then that's all i want to do and i neglect other things. maybe someday i'll get it together! ha! ps- please don't feel like you need to respond to all my comments. you know i love ya and i can't even fathom how you can keep up with all these comments! xoxo

lilliesandsilk said...

Hello!

Cute outfit! Thanks for hosting the blog hop and I'm a new follower:) Have a good evening!


Carissa
Lillies & Silk

Lindsay said...

I really love that you wrote this post. I think it speaks to EVERYONE. It speaks to me right now this minute because I am so tired from being pregnant that I only have enough time each day to just maintain...maintain my blog, maintain my home and maintain my life. I don't have any extra time for my son or my husband or for the other to-dos because my body and mind just can't do it right now. And you know what? I've come to realize. It's okay. It's okay for now.

Aubree said...

Eek... I really hate to post this because I hate commenters who are all about "look at my blog" but I am going to say it anyway. Each month on my blog I feature one "be of the month" to work on being a better person. The "Be" this month is "Be Balanced." I have been feeling out of balance and trying to fix it. This is the article I wrote about an exercise to see how your life is out of balance to help put back right if you want to check it out: http://lookfeelbebest.blogspot.com/2013/02/live-in-balance.html

LOVE your outfit BTW.

Aubree

Berty Morales said...

Great look and I love your necklace.

Happiness at Mid LIfe said...

I totally resonate with your post today! I think finding a balance in life is just getting harder as we are more I want everything instantly kind of society. Sometimes, we just need to stop and take a deep breath and say screw all this and focus on 1 thing.

BTW, I love this look. I've forgotten about this top in my closet and love it with red. I think by adding the yellow accents, it doesn't look Americana-ish.

Alice
www.happinessatmidlife.com

My-cliffnotes said...

Never forget how fab you are!! Ever

Priscila@mommode said...

Thaís for opening your heart Shanna. It's refreshing to see a blogger be so real. Praying that God will give you the wisdom to find the right balance in life. If I may make a suggestion.... I love the Jesus Calling. Devotional book. It's got short devotions, everyday. It's a great way to keep your mind on the things above ( which in my opinion is the thing that. Keeps me balanced) another one is a book called A Praying Life by Paul Miller. It helped me tremendously at a time when I felt like my life was cracking under my feet for lack of balance. May the peace of Christ, rule in your heart today.

Jamie said...

Don't be so hard on yourself! :) I know what you mean about having an imaginary checklist and not feeling you've accomplished enough, but there's only so much you can do in a day. And you seem like you do A LOT!

Very cute outfit by the way! The colors look great together!

Jamie
Forever81

Laurie Tester said...

Love that OOD! I love anything nautical, really. Not to mention I have been trying to remember the name SAM MOON for two days. What a stroke of luck. I'm stopping over from Monday's Join the Gossip.

Laurie
Lulu and Daisy

Amanda Chic said...

Lovely look!! you are pretty


http://www.facebook.com/AmandaChicFashionRoomLounge?ref=hl
http://fashionroomlounge.blogspot.com.es/

A chic kiss ;)

Anne N. said...

I love your blog and your fashion sense. But thank you SO much for being transparent and sharing your heart. I think it's important for other moms to read an honest blogger. I pray you will have peace, and allow yourself grace! I totally relate to your post: I have an 11 year old and a 14 year old!

Debra said...

Hey Shanna...don't be so hard on yourself. I am actually going through the same thing too. I NEED to get back in the word of God. Just remember that HE knows your heart & nothing is impossible with HIM by your side. I think everyone who visits your blog loves & supports you. Just hang in there pretty lady. I'm praying for you. Xoxo

Debra@stylewisebydebra.blogspot.com

emily said...

give.me.that.top! its beyond adorable. and of course you're rocking as always.
i also find it hard to keep balance in everything, i don't know how you do it all. you're like superwoman! xo

Chioma said...

i promise i know how you feel! at least you've acknowledged it and want to work on it!! love this look on you as usual Shanna! :)

~Chioma
C's Evolution of Style

Jealeyni said...

Wow, you don't know how MUCH this post has touched me. I finished reading everything and cried! What did you do woman?! LOL I've been feeling the same and wondering how to balance everything in my life. I thank you for your beautiful kind words. You are an inspiration and if you only knew that the Lord is using you to help those who may be going through similar situations. God bless you and again, thank you!!! Beautiful post!

Xo, Jealeyni
www.daintyjea.com

Courtney said...

First, I love the outfit.
Second, this is such a struggle for me lately. Something has to give and unfortunately lately that has been blogging. I'm trying to get better about finding and making time for everything that's important!

Franziska said...

I know you were considering chopping your hair, but please don't. It looks so pretty this way.

also, I totally feel the pressure of blogging and visiting every blog. I have a lot less going on than you do right now (really after I get home I have nothing but time) but I do know what its like to get anxiety just thinking about opening your inbox

Mary Lindsey said...

I think most people deal with balance issues at one time or another. I know I personally am struggling a lot with balance right now.

I can't say a lot on the marriage, work, or religious fronts, but as someone who had very busy parents as a kid I can tell you that your daughters will love and appreciate you even if you aren't the room mom who chaperones every single field trip and sells the most girl scout cookies. There were several times when I was growing up that one or both of my parents weren't able to make it to my dance performances or school plays. It may have hurt for a bit at the time, but I always knew that my parents loved me. As long as you're always there for the important things (like when they come home crying because they lost a best friend or a boyfriend) you will always be their hero. I say that from my experience with my parents who are truly my best friends.

I'm sure you'll work it out!

-Mary @ Style That Moves

Angela said...

I think that it's completely normal to feel overwhelmed and unbalanced at times. As moms we juggle so many "things" that sometimes certain balls get dropped. i know that i feel this way often and worry about my focus. don't be too hard on yourself. from what i can tell, you are a great mama and wife. you'll find your balance.

SH said...

Your outfit is adorable. I'm a wife, but not yet a mother, and finding quality time is often a challenge. But so worth it!

Hope you had a great weekend!

-Sheree
The Hartungs Blog
thehartungs.blogspot.ca

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